A bit of normal

I am so sorry that I have been absent from everyone. First, let me thank everyone for their prayers and kind words. As most may have put together by now My Dad’s Dad isn’t ever going to get any better. Mom has taken care of him for the last week 24/7 with Dad and I helping out. I will say it again though we are all very tired. He is like taking care of a two year old that you can’t correct and doesn’t care what you say and he tells you how wrong you are too.

Sunday, was the second of two really bad days. The first was Friday when Dad went back to work. That day was really horrible for my Mom. Yesterday though I actually walked away from my Mother’s Sunday Meal table. I know some don’t see that as a big deal but in our house IT IS A HUGE DEAL. (That might just be from having a Reverend for a Mom who knows … LOL) We eat most meals together but Sundays are a day of Grace around here. My Dad’s Dad sat at our table of grace and was so rude to my Mom and he even asked me to get him a loaded gun and he would take care of him self. He screamed and yelled at my Mom in her own home about how he was going to do what he wanted and when he wanted too and she didn’t have any say about it. He told her he would was going to go and drive to anywhere she wasn’t and if he wrecked or killed anyone on the road he didn’t care. (His words not ours) And all that was just Sunday lunch!

My Mom seems to cry a bit more as She doesn’t want me to remember him this way. Dad’s Sister thinks it is all funny and laughs about how he treated us. Then again she hasn’t been the nicest to us either. I know why she says the things she says and most of it revolves around money. I did learn one thing though. It seems that my Mom and Dad have been doing what it in the best interest of Dad’s parents since they bought this place even though it left them very far in debt. Why is it my Parents have quietly done a lot to help Dad’s Parents and yet they are judged by what others don’t know??

I really want to tell you everything but Mom says that it isn’t anything we want aired … (we have been down that road) However, The more I live it the more I know my parents have been taking care of others silently for years and the family truly is clueless. It makes me proud of my Parents, angry at my Aunt and the other in the family that judge them without knowing the facts. All along I am Very Sad that I can’t forget what I saw this last week and just remember the good of my Dad’s Dad.

I know that teens have been said to have crazy emotions but Maybe, just Maybe, this time I have the right … To top all that off while I was busy taking care of other family member’s stuff and saving other family member’s calves, my animals took a loss. I lost a calf but I don’t know why. I do know that I have spent not enough time doing my chores and to much time doing others. Anyway, I found the calf in the pasture and it had passed away. I guess from now on I don’t think I will be doing chores for other people. Family or Neighbor, it doesn’t matter. Everyone thinks because I “only have sheep” and that I am home schooled, that I have all the time in the world. I let myself be pushed into doing chores that were suppose to be a couple of hours a day that turned out to be about 5 or 6 hours a day. Not only that I but when face to face with the person I did the chores for the words Thank you never crossed his lips. So from now on I am going to stick to my own farm. I have to much to do around here for the scarifies I make for them to not be recognized or appreciated. And if another person says but you just have sheep I am going to loss it. Some of my sheep are of greater value then cattle!

PS … I did tell you that Mom took the time to register the Merino babies and the Dorset babies before all this started right???

10 thoughts on “A bit of normal

  1. I don’t know you, but I am a homeschool mom and I relate to and hurt with your family. I am praying for you to look to God to get you through, as he will. “Trust in the Lord with all your heart. Do not lean on your own understanding. In all your ways acknowledge him, and he will make your paths straight.” -Proverbs 3:5-6

    (PS- I assume you have read the true stories of hard life on the ranch in “Little Britches”. If not, think it would encourage you. And keep writing! You are a wonderful writer – maybe will have a book yourself one day.)

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  2. It is ALWAYS right to take care of your parents since they took care of you – others in your family, not so much! Especially when they don’t appreciate it – trust me, I am lots older than you (and your parents for that matter!). Remember that you are a beloved child of God and you and your family are in my prayers. Also, remember to breathe!

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  3. You and your family should be proud of what you have done and the one who matters sees and makes note of all those you help……….i am so sorry for the heartache you are experiencing…….

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  4. Wow wow wow. You have a lot of stress right now.
    With all the family stuff, aging grandfather, farm animals and school and worry. Please just know you are an amazing young man. You and your Mom are such g r eat examples of grace.in living. My hats off to you and your parents. Sending prayers and a virtual hug.

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  5. I will keep you and your family in my prayers. Any one of those things would be challenging, but all at once is really tough. Keep doing the right thing, even if it isn’t acknowledged, it makes you a better man.

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  6. You can’t take anything your grandfather says seriously. He honestly doesn’t know, doesn’t remember, and if he knew, wouldn’t mean any of it. He can’t help it and nothing anyone can do can change it. There are medications that calm it down … sometimes … but not all the time. Dementia is a monster. I’m so sorry you’re going through this.

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  7. Forgot this. Since that relative didn’t say it, let me say thank you for helping with the calves and their chores. You went way beyond expectations and we all know the animals were better cared for than if anyone else had tried to do it.

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  8. Amazing that your mom found the time to register the lambs. Dementia is so very sad. Especially the major personality changes and the nastiness and rudeness. I saw it in my father and you, unfortunately, are seeing it in your grandfather. I don’t know if I’ll ever forget that and allow the positives from my childhood to be what I remember of him. I hope you can shut this time into a space in your brain and close the door on it. That’s what I’ve been trying to do since April 2014. It will take a lot of time and maturity and emotion to be able to do this. And yes, it’s usually $$ that creates the friction within families. (There’s also politics and religion, but we won’t go there just now.) So long as you and your parents stand together and do your best, which is what you all seem to try to do, you’ll be able to face yourselves in the mirror without regrets. Hugs to you all.

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